A Letter : to all the boys I’ve loved before
I’ve experienced definitions of love. yes, plural.
Of what I thought was love. Of what I felt and genuinely understood of what love is.
I have made memories with the thought of loving you. I have made stories and histories with each and every one of you, with me believing that I love you.
All the times I’ve spent crying over you with the sentiment of love.
Today, I’m crying over a boy with the thought of love. with my newest definition of love. Of what I think is true, of what I felt is genuine.
Today, I love him. Today, I think of him with every bits of me. With all the memories I have made with him, with the thought that I love him each and every second of it.
I might doubt it. I might question this newest version of love in the future. Like I did with all of you.
But now, I will cherish this moment.
Because in every sunsets and in every sunrise, my understanding of this world becomes wider, wiser, stronger. With every doubts and every questions. But I will forever consider what I have in my hands are the truest version of this life.
No matter how dumb or stupid I feel tomorrow or years from now.
I will keep on saying that I loved you, because at that moment of time, I do. With whatever stupid understanding I held in me back then.
To all the boys I’ve loved before, it was a pleasure to have loved you.
Because love, in my understanding, is abstract. I cannot give you any explanation nor any literal definition. Maybe I will someday, but for now, that is all.
May life treats you well, you had given me lessons in life, shaped me for who I am, and I thank you with all of me.
